maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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