I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
