Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
