Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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