I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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