Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
