my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
