Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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