I CAN MOONWALK!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
