New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
