It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
