just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
