fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Let's paint friendship bongs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
