I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize