We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
