I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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