Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
