Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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