I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize