The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
