He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
