I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize