Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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