Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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