he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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