Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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