Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
porn star boner night. come get it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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