thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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