Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it because I queefed?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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