party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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