Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
