I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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