I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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