Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize