Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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