I will die if light touches me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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