This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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