My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
