she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
