He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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