dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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