I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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