hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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