when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
