You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
