i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
