why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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