Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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