I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
