Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
