THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
