do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
