i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
