is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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