I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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