we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
