So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
