hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
