no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize