I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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