Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
