Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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