Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
