The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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