Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
