What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
