all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
