I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
