I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
