I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
