I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I want her autograph on my taint
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
