So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
