just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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