you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
