He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
