I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
